How Crowns Ends Relationships

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How Crowns Ends Relationships

Postby Prozac » Thu Jul 08, 2021 12:20 pm

    

We were looking out of our house window last month, and we saw a U-haul with a young Filipina unloading her stuff. She was
alone,except for a friend that drove her. She just came from the Philippines and wants to pursue her American dream by
working as a nurse. We made friends with her and we notice her swollen eyes as if she just spend the whole night crying.
We found out she left her boyfriend in the the Philippines and they have a heavy fight. Reason of the dispute - well she was
made to chose- a more secured future and a nice paying job in exchange for leaving her BF who threatened, "you leave or this
is the END.

She was still shaken, and between pregnant sobs, she stated the break- up has devastated her. My sister came to her rescue,
and she consoled her and listen guys, of all people she used Rabiya Mateo (Miss Universe Philippines 2020 as her example.
"Look at Rabiya dear, Neil Salvacion has been her boyfriend for seven years, but after winning the crown and the adulation
of the fans, even though it is not official, it looked like their relationship is going to splitsville!

"And that is for good reasons," she continued. Her winning opened a lot of doors. Now Rabiya plans a showbiz career. Let's be
fair, seven years is seven years, but Neil and his presence can be an obstacle rather than a help to Rabiya's budding career.
And I hate to say this, now that Rabiya is free, she can have too many choices of men parading before her: more intelligent
and successful and more moneyed." No offense to Neil though.

I was observing their exchange and it dawned on me that my cantankerous and testy sister may have a point. I remember
the time Janine Togonon won Miss Universe Philippines in 2012 her relationship with Jaypee Santos somersaulted the same
route. A case of deja vu? Although we don't know the reason for the breakup, look at Janine Tugonon now and she is happy
and contented with her Italian-Belgian boyfriend.

The same thing happened with Catriona Gray. She was playing lovey-dovey with Clint Bondad, (he even attended her coronation
in Thailand) after winning Miss Universe 2018, the table was turned and Catriona went solo. She went to the Philippines using
Chavit's private plane leaving Clint behind. The next thing we know she was now playing sweet music with Sam Milby.

Then there's Pia Wurtzbach who dated Marlon Stockinger during her reign. The relationship went phhhhtt and now Pia has Scottish
businessman boyfriend Jeremy Jauncey. Maxine Medine also left model Marx Topacio and is now happy with diving instructor Timmy
Llana. For sure there are still other beauty queens who after winning left their former beau, get their newfound freedom, and meet
a better version of prince charming.

My heart goes to the boyfriends who were left in the cold. The turn of events was unkind to them. But I could not fault
these ladies to dip their feet and try new waters for a better life and a better tomorrow. The parallelism is similar to OFW's
who chose to leave their wives and children so they could finance their education, build a new house, or buy the same stuff
other kids enjoy. The same thing can be said of me that despite the stinging loneliness in America, the rotten feeling of
homesickness and the nightly longing that I should be with my family and friends at home, I choose to carry the yoke and the
burden to better the quality of our lives.

Going back to our friend in the story, after a month we saw a change in her. "Breaking up with him was the most difficult," she said,
yet it was the most empowering decision I’ve ever made in my life. In the aftermath of our relationship, I discovered how life on
my own could be equally, if not more, fulfilling than the life we shared together. I focused on becoming the best version
of myself according to no one's standards but my own and doing things I loved without restriction."

Wow-what a realization!

To end this, I want to ask you guys if it is okay to have relationships broken after a beauty queen's coronation. Did they
make the right decision? Are money and a good life a valid excuse to ditch a former love? And is it fair to the guys who were
dropped like a hot potato?


Last edited by Prozac on Thu Jul 08, 2021 2:32 pm, edited 3 times in total.
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Re: How Crowns Ends Relationships

Postby Prozac » Thu Jul 08, 2021 12:32 pm

While I was writing this, Paul Simon's song was blaring, like it was telling me, Oh how appropriate!
Think about the lyrics of 50 Ways To Leave Your Lover

You just slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don't need to be coy, Roy
Just get yourself free
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don't need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free
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Re: How Crowns Ends Relationships

Postby sOUTH BEaCH » Thu Jul 08, 2021 12:38 pm

I always wanted to know the truth about the affair between Catriona and Clint Bondad broke up?
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Re: How Crowns Ends Relationships

Postby esperasave » Thu Jul 08, 2021 2:38 pm

Relationship can only last when it's Give and Take with each other.
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Re: How Crowns Ends Relationships

Postby Beta » Thu Jul 08, 2021 6:23 pm

Only a few men are able to have long lasting, mutually respectful relationships with strong women. There could be many reasons -- some valid, some not, depending on perspective. Without knowing the actual circumstance, it would be just pure speculation on our part.
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Re: How Crowns Ends Relationships

Postby esperasave » Thu Jul 08, 2021 8:31 pm

Beta wrote:Only a few men are able to have long lasting, mutually respectful relationships with strong women. There could be many reasons -- some valid, some not, depending on perspective. Without knowing the actual circumstance, it would be just pure speculation on our part.


The power or authority in any given relationship should be balanced or equal. No one should be submissive or dominant but the yardstick must be in equilibrium for it to survive not break. Essentially, life is hard to balance nowadays because one needs to be an octopus with so many hands to juggle life's challenges. But, preparedness is the key to enjoy life's journey. In other words, enjoy what you have especially your love life till it last. And then when that breaking point would really comes, at least you have enjoyed with what the heart or life desires.
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Re: How Crowns Ends Relationships

Postby beautywatchnyc » Fri Jul 09, 2021 2:13 am


Why not aim and work for the opposite? I mean, both partners could capitalize on the crown as a launching pad and cement the relationship into becoming stronger than it ever was.

If both knew the principle of mutual reciprocity -- of caring and not merely taking, if both could learn and avoid harping on each other's frailties, I think that both takers are in a level playing field to nurture, grow and prosper.

Each party has a personal stake in this matter. I feel that they should avoid the mistaken notion of "ownership vs possession", as it harms a relationship that demands mutual admiration or understanding.

While the relationship is fragile, it will serve the stakeholders to manage feelings that must cater and not neglect each other's individual aspiration to develop into a full potential to be the best that each can be (I.e. professional and personal for self-fulfilment and actualization!)

These basic challenges have to be taken care of by both to make the relationship work and flourish!
Last edited by beautywatchnyc on Fri Jul 09, 2021 9:43 am, edited 4 times in total.
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Re: How Crowns Ends Relationships

Postby Prozac » Fri Jul 09, 2021 2:57 am

beautywatchnyc wrote:
Why not aim and work for the opposite? I mean both partners could capitalize on the crown as a launching pd and from there cement the relationship into becoming even stronger than it ever was. If both knew the principle of mutual reciprocity, of giving and not merely taking, if both could learn from and avoid incessant harping on each other's frailties, I think that they're in a level-playing field from which to grow and to prosper. "Ownership versus possession" -- each player has a personal stake in this matter and must avoid this pitfall. While still in a fragile status, it is important to note that both players manage the relationship that should cater and not neglect each other's personal aspiration to evolve and develop individual potentials to be the best that each could could be!


I believe in everything you said. Well, I have been in the position of boyfriends of these beauty queens. sort of when I
was in college. I can relate to the gnawing pain, when you see your loved one being deluged by admirers, by tempting
offers that made me think I was just a small fry, a good for nothing, somebody who can be tossed anytime once a
better opportunity comes. And jealousy? It is an overwhelming feeling of insecurity about a potential loss of a love one.
It is a paralyzing feeling of ambivalence where you were made to choose whether to fight or you will use flight instead.
You go ... or you let go ...

You question yourself whether you will assert all your efforts to protect the person and your love or you will just abandon
ship and just give up with finality. In my case, I questioned myself that the feeling is just a one-way street, what if she
doesn't feel the same way and she wants to spread her wings and fly without any limits. This is a classic example of
AMBIVALENCE where you feel two strong but contrasting feeling tones to a person. You love her because she is your GF,
but you also hate her because of what she does and the possibility of a break-up is looming.
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Re: How Crowns Ends Relationships

Postby Prozac » Fri Jul 09, 2021 2:59 am

esperasave wrote:
Beta wrote:Only a few men are able to have long lasting, mutually respectful relationships with strong women. There could be many reasons -- some valid, some not, depending on perspective. Without knowing the actual circumstance, it would be just pure speculation on our part.


The power or authority in any given relationship should be balanced or equal. No one should be submissive or dominant but the yardstick must be in equilibrium for it to survive not break. Essentially, life is hard to balance nowadays because one needs to be an octopus with so many hands to juggle life's challenges. But, preparedness is the key to enjoy life's journey. In other words, enjoy what you have especially your love life till it last. And then when that breaking point would really comes, at least you have enjoyed with what the heart or life desires.


I say amen to that
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Re: How Crowns Ends Relationships

Postby beautywatchnyc » Fri Jul 09, 2021 3:21 am

Prozac wrote:
beautywatchnyc wrote:
Why not aim and work for the opposite? I mean both partners could capitalize on the crown as a launching pd and from there cement the relationship into becoming even stronger than it ever was. If both knew the principle of mutual reciprocity, of giving and not merely taking, if both could learn from and avoid incessant harping on each other's frailties, I think that they're in a level-playing field from which to grow and to prosper. "Ownership versus possession" -- each player has a personal stake in this matter and must avoid this pitfall. While still in a fragile status, it is important to note that both players manage the relationship that should cater and not neglect each other's personal aspiration to evolve and develop individual potentials to be the best that each could could be!


I believe in everything you said. Well, I have been in the position of boyfriends of these beauty queens. sort of when I
was in college. I can relate to the gnawing pain, when you see your loved one being deluged by admirers, by tempting
offers that made me think I was just a small fry, a good for nothing, somebody who can be tossed anytime once a
better opportunity comes. And jealousy? It is an overwhelming feeling of insecurity about a potential loss of a love one.
It is a paralyzing feeling of ambivalence where you were made to choose whether to fight or you will use flight instead.
You go ... or you let go ...

You question yourself whether you will assert all your efforts to protect the person and your love or you will just abandon
ship and just give up with finality. In my case, I questioned myself that the feeling is just a one-way street, what if she
doesn't feel the same way and she wants to spread her wings and fly without any limits. This is a classic example of
AMBIVALENCE where you feel two strong but contrasting feeling tones to a person. You love her because she is your GF,
but you also hate her because of what she does and the possibility of a break-up is looming.


Change changes things. Nothing seems permanent. As the end comes near, it becomes evident that we move on to the next! Ifs and buts ... it's not about the why, not even the how! There lingers the question of human frailty, of the weakness of the spirit esp as when the flesh is satiated! The race was run and the end stares at us in the face! Sad but true!
Last edited by beautywatchnyc on Fri Jul 09, 2021 6:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: How Crowns Ends Relationships

Postby Prozac » Fri Jul 09, 2021 10:54 am

Ang kurot na napakasakit ay yong akala mo'y iyo na siya. Hindi pala. And at the time na siya'y nananalo, di ba
dapat kasalo mo siya? Meron ka palang mga kahati - mga taong hindi man lang niya kilala pero kailangang bigyan
niya ng pansin.

At sa mga susunod na mga araw nakikita mo na ang mga pagbabago. Hindi na siya yong dati mong mahal na nagbibigay
ng siyento porsientong attention sa iyo. Untiunti na siyang humihilagpos sa kanyang pagkatali sa iyo. Masakit yong
tinitingnan mo na lang siya sa malayo, gusto mo mang lumapit, pero sigi na lang, huwag na lang at baka disturbo
ka pa.

Hanggang isang araw nakita mo na lang na ikaw ay nagpaubaya na. Tuloy mo nang tinanggap ang pagkatalo. Dahil mahal
mo nga siya, ibinigay mo na ang kanyang kalayaan, para maranasan ang mga pagbabagong hindi mo kayang ibigay.
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Re: How Crowns Ends Relationships

Postby Yna Magenta » Fri Jul 09, 2021 12:13 pm

So sa madaling salita, in general, base sa sinasabi nyo, nagkakahiwalay ang magjojowa kapag mas "umaangat" ang isa, sa kadahilanang naiinsekyur ang kabilang partido??? :%)) :%((

Kung ganon sa susunod makipag-relasyon lang sa taong mahal at hindi sa karibal! Sumama pa ang loob sa nakamit ni jowa, competition ang peg??! This applies too dun sa "naka-angat" na jowa at hiniwalayan ang karelasyon nang "umangat" na =O/ ~X(

Nakakaloka!!! =/ =O/
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Re: How Crowns Ends Relationships

Postby Prozac » Fri Jul 09, 2021 2:26 pm

Yna Magenta wrote:So sa madaling salita, in general, base sa sinasabi nyo, nagkakahiwalay ang magjojowa kapag mas "umaangat" ang isa, sa kadahilanang naiinsekyur ang kabilang partido??? :%)) :%((

Kung ganon sa susunod makipag-relasyon lang sa taong mahal at hindi sa karibal! Sumama pa ang loob sa nakamit ni jowa, competition ang peg??! This applies too dun sa "naka-angat" na jowa at hiniwalayan ang karelasyon nang "umangat" na =O/ ~X(

Nakakaloka!!! =/ =O/


Not all the time. It doesn't follow a pattern. We mentioned already relationships that failed because the beauty
queen still wants to prove something to herself, and the guy is restless because he felt out of place most of the
time (a case of ... they have the right love at the wrong time ... as the song goes)

But we have also relationships that prosper like Megan Young who despite winning Miss World, she decided she was
stuck with Mikael Daez. And they even got married. In fairness to Mikael, he really fought hard and remained cool
calm, and collected despite the challenges brought by Megan's winning. There's also Kylie Verzosa whose romance
with Jake Cuenca is going strong.

Yes, at times we thought the beauty queen's relation with their previous boyfriends were a match made in heaven,
but winning a crown can change the beauty queen's perspective and it definitely changes the script of their love story.
Winning a title can shake their storyline, and if the boyfriend is not secure of himself he will find himself kowtowing
to the pressure.
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Re: How Crowns Ends Relationships

Postby esperasave » Sat Jul 10, 2021 10:54 am

Prozac wrote:
Yna Magenta wrote:So sa madaling salita, in general, base sa sinasabi nyo, nagkakahiwalay ang magjojowa kapag mas "umaangat" ang isa, sa kadahilanang naiinsekyur ang kabilang partido??? :%)) :%((

Kung ganon sa susunod makipag-relasyon lang sa taong mahal at hindi sa karibal! Sumama pa ang loob sa nakamit ni jowa, competition ang peg??! This applies too dun sa "naka-angat" na jowa at hiniwalayan ang karelasyon nang "umangat" na =O/ ~X(

Nakakaloka!!! =/ =O/


Not all the time. It doesn't follow a pattern. We mentioned already relationships that failed because the beauty
queen still wants to prove something to herself, and the guy is restless because he felt out of place most of the
time (a case of ... they have the right love at the wrong time ... as the song goes)

But we have also relationships that prosper like Megan Young who despite winning Miss World, she decided she was
stuck with Mikael Daez. And they even got married. In fairness to Mikael, he really fought hard and remained cool
calm, and collected despite the challenges brought by Megan's winning. There's also Kylie Verzosa whose romance
with Jake Cuenca is going strong.

Yes, at times we thought the beauty queen's relation with their previous boyfriends were a match made in heaven,
but winning a crown can change the beauty queen's perspective and it definitely changes the script of their love story.
Winning a title can shake their storyline, and if the boyfriend is not secure of himself he will find himself kowtowing
to the pressure.


For Megan and Mike, they just have to enjoy each other, I mean each other's company. Then, when a baby comes along, enjoy till it last because when he/she grows up, you'll gonna miss that young baby who grow up with you and leaves you behind. Don't take away all those happiness that both of you deserves by all means. Not even all those toxicities and negativism that people would want to bring as you go along in life's journey.
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